Healing Anxiety Is About Growth, Not Returning to the Past

Anxiety disorders often come with physical symptoms such as shortness of breath, chest pain, tightness in the scalp, and irritable bowel syndrome. These symptoms can vary widely from person to person and often leave individuals feeling anxious every single day, fearing the worst while also struggling with a lack of understanding from friends and family. It's a deeply isolating experience that's hard to put into words.

Understanding Somatic Symptoms and Somaticization

These physical symptoms are often referred to in medical terms as somatic symptoms. To better understand their origin, it's important to explore the psychological concept of somatization. Somatic symptoms arise when emotional distress, which hasn't been properly expressed or processed, manifests physically in the body. In other words, when you repeatedly suppress emotions or act against your inner truth, those feelings may find an outlet through physical discomfort or illness.

The Roots of Emotional Suppression

Imagine yourself as an infant. At that stage, your emotions flow freely—you cry when you're hungry, scream when you're uncomfortable, and feel relief once your needs are met. As you grow older, societal expectations, labels, and norms begin to shape your behavior. You learn to suppress certain emotions to fit in or meet external standards. Over time, these suppressed feelings accumulate and may eventually erupt as physical symptoms, sometimes leading to hypochondria or panic attacks with a terrifying sense of impending doom.

The Core of Anxiety: Fear of the Unknown

At its core, anxiety is essentially a fear of uncertainty—particularly about the future. To better understand this, consider the natural world. When a gazelle is chased by a predator, its amygdala activates, adrenaline surges, and the body prepares for survival. The gazelle escapes, and once safe, its body returns to a state of calm. This feedback loop is nature's way of handling fear.

Human Response to Fear

Humans experience a similar physiological response to danger, but unlike the gazelle, we often can't escape. We have responsibilities—work, relationships, social expectations—and we're taught to suppress our emotions. This internal conflict leads to elevated blood pressure, rapid heartbeat, and sensory overload. Eventually, this might result in a trip to the emergency room, even though medical tests show no serious underlying condition.

Living with Persistent Worry

After an episode, anxiety lingers. Despite reassurance from doctors that everything is fine, the fear remains. You begin to research your symptoms online, which often increases your distress. Chest pain becomes a sign of heart disease in your mind, even if it's just intercostal discomfort. You become hyper-focused on your body, constantly scanning for signs of illness, and sharing your concerns with loved ones. This becomes a new, unwanted routine.

Nature's Paradox

In a way, this is nature's way of forcing you to pay attention to yourself. You may have ignored your needs for so long that now, your body demands your awareness. Everything arises due to conditions, and everything can dissolve the same way. The development of anxiety is tied to our human capacity for rational thought—our greatest strength, yet also the source of our emotional distance from our bodies. Unlike reptiles, which live in harmony with their instincts, humans often suffer from a mind-body disconnect caused by emotional repression.

Tracing Back to the Source

You may feel overly sensitive now, quick to react to physical sensations. But remember, every behavior you've developed was once a survival strategy. These patterns made sense in the context of your past experiences. Think of them like shortcuts on a computer—used so often that you forget where they lead. These mental shortcuts have become deeply ingrained habits, making it hard to trace their origin.

The Cost of Compliance

For example, if you were always the "good kid" praised for being obedient, you might have internalized that identity. As an adult, maintaining that label might have led to chronic self-neglect. Eventually, the pressure builds until something gives—your body reacts, and a disconnect between your mind and body begins to widen.

The Path to Healing

To overcome anxiety, we must first understand ourselves. One effective method is to revisit past experiences with mindfulness. I call this process "Mindful Reflection on the Past," which involves three key steps: Awareness (A), Being With (B), and Choice (C)—the ABC method. Mindfulness, the practice of observing the present moment without judgment, has been shown to significantly reduce anxiety symptoms.

Step 1: Awareness

Awareness begins with recognizing when your physical symptoms first appeared and what was happening in your life at that time. Ask yourself what you were thinking and feeling, and why you felt compelled to act against your true self. This exploration may lead you back to childhood experiences that shaped your current responses.

Step 2: Being With

This process is like peeling an onion—layer by layer, you uncover the roots of your current self. Each experience, from birth onward, has contributed to who you are today. Accepting this helps you understand that your journey is unique. You may never receive the validation you seek from others, but learning to accept yourself is the first step toward healing.

Step 3: Choice

Once you've acknowledged your past and accepted your present, you gain the power to make new choices. This could include seeking therapy, taking medication, or adopting healthier lifestyle habits like regular exercise, which boosts dopamine and improves physical health. Most importantly, it means learning to set boundaries and understanding that saying no doesn't always lead to negative outcomes.

Growth as the True Path to Healing

True healing isn't about going back to how things were—it's about growing into who you're meant to become. While you may long for a simpler time, like the safety of the womb, life demands that you face its challenges. Embrace your self-awareness, expand your sense of self, and recognize that your environment and body are integral parts of your true identity.

Moving Forward

Once you've clarified your thoughts and emotions, you'll be ready to explore more tools for managing anxiety. Remember, healing is not about returning to the past—it's about evolving. If you're not ready to give up on life, then growth is your only path forward. Choose to grow, choose to heal, and ultimately, choose to live fully.